I had to research an issue for a business of mine. It involved a federal agency. I needed to know exactly how to be in compliance. I communicated with two representatives from the agency. I read their regulations, which were in three very fat books I had to sift through. I even consulted an attorney More...

Memory Magic Do you know what two plus two is? You do? Well of course you do. But do you remember the day that you learned it? Do you recall exactly what you were doing and what the teacher said that got through to you and convinced you? No? Well of course not. The first kind More...

This is a special example of the pain within a need. Because, as you’ll recall, not every person is strongly driven by all of these needs. Some people feel very good about keeping it all for themselves; stingy is great–for them. They will even express some pretty negative attitudes about helping other people. They flatter More...

The need for Growth, unfulfilled, equals stasis, stagnation, the doldrums, not getting anywhere, being passed up by your peers, becoming irrelevant. Ew! Stop there. I can’t take it any more! What can I do to experience some growth? Life insurance: When I have something hanging over me like that, I feel like I can’t fully invest More...

Remember how Scrooge had his big epiphany? His ghostly masters of influence activated a lot of pain in order to do their job. They brought him to Love and Connection, but it was painful. Yet this work by Dickens is one of the most famous pieces of literature ever produced. Apparently everyone resonates to this More...

Ouch! That’s a really painful one. Being insignificant, trivial, getting kicked to the curb. What would you do to avoid that. Some people are driven to leave their mark on the world for generations, but all of us would like to at least matter to someone. There is the hurt within the drive for Significance. More...

Too much consistency can really drain away our energy and motivation. There is a Twilight Zone episode from the classic Rod Serling television series, in which a big criminal thinks he is in heaven. But everything always goes exactly as he wishes. He even wins whenever he gambles. When he asks for some unpredictability, saying More...

This is the hurt within the Certainty need. Feelings of confusion and insecurity will drive a person toward certainty. Whatever it is that will bring them into certainty becomes very important. It’s your job to connect not having the product with confusion and insecurity, and show how your product is the cure. You already know how More...

I had a fellow who derived so much of his sense of contribution, certainty, and significance from being a good negotiator, that he was fouling up his opportunities to take care of his life insurance. These kinds of things are priced with such care and in such a competitive environment, that there isn’t much in More...

This brings up an interesting question. What about people who might have a very strong need, but have buried it? Let’s take Scrooge. His leading need was certainty. He kept his bookkeepers working slavishly, and saw Christmas as an inconvenience. His focus on money and control was obsessive. He even turned off his affection for More...