I had a prospect who was pretty impatient and irritable. He was a decision-maker for an employer that could mean a big sale of an insurance carve out. On the phone, he got it across to me that he was very knowledgeable and experience, and I could tell that he actually was pretty smart. I More...

You don’t have to change your mind anything to bring out attitude qualities that match your prospect. If they are liberal or conservative, evangelical or Jewish, you will find that their attitude has little to do with this. Look for their attitude to life, the world, and people, and match that up as a general More...

One of my prospects knew that there was a large gay population in the neighborhood, and he sounded a little judgmental when he asked about it. I wasn’t willing to pretend to be anti-gay or any other kind of anti-people, but I wanted to maintain enough rapport that I could say something that might open More...

Think of ways you can pace people based on the following factors. Remember, you do not need to pretend to have values you don’t have, only to bring out qualities that you can find in yourself that match where they are coming from in terms of experience and values. 1. Cultural factors: If they are religious, More...

When pacing the experience and values of a prospect, you have two basic aspects. There are the mannerisms and mood of your responses and probes, and there are direct expressions of opinions and facts. These are very different. It’s one thing to show that a religious comment touched you, and another to directly profess faith More...

People prefer people who are like them. Generally, people are more likely to buy from people who are like them. The more ways they are similar, the better. So consider the ways you can emphasize your similarities. As you size up your prospect (the section on People Reading will help you with this immensely), you More...

These pacing items are more mental, so they might be a little more difficult. But they’ll grow on you. As they become easy, they really are enjoyable because of the comfortable connection they build. 1. Facial expressions: Start with their overall expression as their mood changes, rather than trying to imitate every fleeting nuance. 2. Vocabulary, More...

For this workout, we’ll take pacing to another level than you practiced in the previous section. Let’s get technical about it. I want you to practice pacing one or more of the following things, and I want you to keep building this ability until you can pace all of them with anyone. Yes, that will More...

From now on, notice how people move and express themselves. Without being really obvious, find those qualities in yourself and let them out a little. Keep doing it, don’t stop. Notice what happens, and how many seconds or minutes it takes. Do they seem to connect with you easily? Do you feel more at ease More...

Pacing is the most influential skill in rapport building, unless you consider things as basic as good manners, but that’s for a Sales 101 book. It relies on expressing yourself in ways similar to your prospect, but don’t confuse pacing with simply imitating people. The deeper you get with pacing, the more you experience that More...